


goodbye in gold

by likelightning



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2013-10-24
Packaged: 2017-12-30 09:38:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1017048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likelightning/pseuds/likelightning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Kelley spends a weekend in Seattle but not like she used to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	goodbye in gold

**Author's Note:**

> So this is set post-Olympics, during a break in the celebratory tour, sometime in early November. I reallllllly just wanted to write this without researching it at all so let’s just say Hope and Kelley had a thing going the summer of the Olympics and leave it at that.
> 
> You can blame this whole thing on this: http://us-wnt.tumblr.com/post/49984776933, because I was browsing O'Solo posts for inspiration and this strangled me into submission. 
> 
> Past events are in _italics_.

She lands late in the afternoon to rain trickling down the window. It’s always raining in Seattle. She tucks the marker back into her paperback and slides it down into her carryon. All around her, fellow passengers are packing up and rousing themselves from the short, sleepy flight across the Pacific coast. In her ears, Drake is muttering softly. She blinks a couple times, trying to rescue herself from her thoughts, and takes her phone off airplane mode. A rush of text messages, then- _Make it in okay? Hey, do you need a ride from the airport? Heard you’ll be in town this weekend lady, let’s hang!_ Despite the weather and the flight and these past few months, a smile creeps onto her mouth. She starts responding and the wait passes quickly, until she’s walking out into the gate with what is probably a ridiculous smile stretched across her face.

The airport is bustling with holiday travelers in their bulky Thanksgiving sweaters and armfuls of sticky kids. Kelley slides her phone into the back pocket of her skinny jeans. She should be sick of all the flights and boarding passes and shit coffee that comes with the blur of celebratory matches, but the truth is it’s becoming second nature. It’s time to read and think and catch up on her sanity.

Or, well- it was. Before being by herself was more of a punishment than a sanctuary.  

She tugs at the strap of her bookbag and steps into the fray.

-

_Hope is literally grinning from where she’s leaning against her SUV, her arms crossed loosely against her chest, one foot kicked up behind her on the wheel. Kelley’s carryon rolls to a stop as a Seattle summer breeze hits her face and she takes in Hope, squinting slightly in the afternoon sun and lifting a hand to wave happily at her. Kelley finds herself grinning right back._

_Then Hope is pushing up off her car and Kelley is dragging her luggage over bumps and cracks and throwing herself into Hope’s arms. She smells like coffee and vanilla and she’s so strong, her arms catching around Kelley’s shoulders and pulling her close. Kelley buries her face against Hope’s chest._

_“Kelley.” Even her name sounds like sunlight today. Hope pulls back to brush a brief, perfunctory kiss against Kelley’s forehead and their eyes catch._

_Hope looks beautiful when she’s smiling._

-

The rain has somehow gotten worse by the time she rescues her luggage and rolls out toward the pickup lane. She’s arrived at this airport exactly twice before and both times she had a careful hand on the small of her back guiding her toward a heavy duty Range Rover-- she stops that thought there. She’s tugging at her gray beanie a little nervously when she finally catches sight of the girls waving enthusiastically at her. All thoughts of expensive SUVs and stolen summer weekends fly from her head and she bounces up onto her toes, a wide smile and open wide arms welcoming.

She’s in town for her big’s wedding, a stolen weekend that’s been planned for months now, and the girl in question wraps her up in a hug that brushes the last bits of self-pity out of Kelley’s mood. Her bags are tossed into the trunk, she’s tucked into the front seat and before she knows it they’re barreling down the highway.

They’re barely ten minutes in when Kelley catches sight of the first familiar building.

-

_“It’s good to see you,” is the first thing Hope says to her once they’re in her car and pulling away from the airport and it’s quiet. “I’ve missed you.” She’s staring straight ahead but her gaze flicks to the right, just once. A tiny little smile plays on Kelley’s mouth._

_“I’m glad I came,” Kelley says. Her fingers twitch to reach out and grab Hope’s hand, which is resting temptingly on the bottom of the steering wheel, but she resists the impulse and settles for staring at the ice blue of Hope’s eyes. A minute or so passes and Kelley’s stupid smile fills the car up. Hope glances over, hiding a smile of her own._

_“Hmm?” She raises an eyebrow, but the softness in her eyes is too much. Kelley just shakes her head once and carefully reaches over to tangle her fingers into Hope’s._

_“I missed you, too.” Kelley says. This time, there’s no hiding Hope’s smile. Rain begins pelting the windshield._

_The ride to Hope’s house is not exactly short but once she starts talking about her city the time passes quickly. She has something to say about almost every building it seems- this restaurant, that park, another clothing store.  By the time they’re pulling into the driveway, Kelley’s developed a brand new sense of fondness for this wet, gray, and previously foreign city; a fondness that may be mostly due to softness of Hope’s hand in her own._

_Hope’s house is warm the way her hands are always warm. Her big, ridiculously fluffy golden retriever noses carefully into Kelley’s knees when they walk inside the front door. It smells like cinnamon candles and looks suspiciously clean. Hope easily shoulders Kelley’s luggage onto her shoulders and nods towards the living room on their right. A huge leather couch seems to be begging Kelley to stretch out on it._

_“I’d give you the tour but I know you’re probably exhausted. Sit down, I’ll grab us some drinks.” Hope says, starting up the stairs with the bags. Kelley settles onto the couch and wraps herself up in a throw, content to watch the rain out the window for a moment. She hears Hope moving in the kitchen, the telltale pop of a bottle of wine, the clink of glasses. She catches movement at the doorway and glances over to see Hope in bare feet, two wine glasses tucked between her fingers and a bottle of rich red grasped in her hand. Her dog is bouncing after her and there’s a brief moment when she pauses and she’s looking at Kelley there on her couch like- like – but she looks down and puts the bottle onto the coffee table. Kelley turns toward her and tugs a corner of the blanket down like an invitation._

_Hope sits a good two feet away from her on the couch, handing over a wine glass and then leveling her gaze on Kelley from over her own wine glass. She sips it carefully and Kelley watches the red stain her mouth a slightly darker shade._

_Blinking twice, Kelley takes a sip of her own wine and then sets the glass back down._

_“Been practicing your clearance?” Hope says and it’s just so out of place in this cozy living room that Kelley laughs and sits up straighter._

_“Why yes, Coach Solo, I’m working tirelessly on my defensive technique.” She teases and Hope laughs a little, setting her wine glass down, too. “Have you been working on your dives?” She says, still slightly sarcastic, but glances at Hope’s deceivingly unremarkable shoulder. Hope gives her a dry look._

_“Fine. We won’t talk about soccer.” Hope says, finally scooting a few inches closer. “Yet.” She amends, and Kelley laughs._

_“No, I get it.” Kelley says, leaning back on one elbow on the back of the couch and silently wishing Hope closer. “Soccer is work is play.” She smiles a little. “And I am excited about getting to put in some work in front of my favorite goalkeeper.” Brazen, she reaches forward to touch Hope’s cheek and trace a line back into her hair, where brushes away a nonexistent flyaway hair. Hope’s face grows suddenly serious and she leans forward like she’s going to take the invitation._

_“I’m so glad you’re here.” She murmurs into the space between them, suddenly intimate and sincere. Kelley’s eyes begin to close. Hope’s breath ghosts across her lips._

_“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Kelley breathes out, and then Hope’s mouth is on hers, stealing her breath and pushing her back into the couch. Hope kisses her languidly, unhurried and confident, decadent and entitled in the way she slides her tongue against Kelley’s mouth. Kelley moans a little and winds her fingers into Hope’s sweater. Somehow, the blanket gets pushed to the floor and Hope slides on top of her on the couch, entwined from mouth to chest to thigh to ankle, all wrapped up and warm while the rain pounds away outside._

-

The sun is finally coming out from behind the clouds when she sits down in front of the hotel mirror to put on her makeup. Her dress is green (“ _you look amazing_ ” echoes in her head whenever she runs her fingers down the material but she shakes it away) and her shoes are brown. The radio’s tuned to the local top 40 and she sings along while she pulls out her makeup brushes.

Her finger catches on a cheap ring buried in the bottom of the bag and she drags it out, curious.

It’s cheap plastic painted silvery and a green faux-gem sits in the center. Her shoulders droop. She slides it onto her finger and holds it into the light. It glints, pretty even though it’s fake, and she can remember the look in Hope’s eyes when she’d slipped it off her finger and onto Kelley’s after training one night. A little blonde-haired girl had given it to her and as they’d walked off the field toward the bus, Hope and tugged on Kelley’s arm and passed it on to her without explanation.

It was easier, back then. Unbelievably easier.

-

_Kelley bends over to pull her socks back up and a ball hits her square in the hip, knocking her forward a few centimeters. Slowly, she stands back up and rotates to find the culprit._

_Hope’s standing in front of the goal, one hand on her cocked hip, the other shielding her eyes. Kelley can see her smirk from here._

_“Fore!” She yells, belatedly, and Kelley tries to contain the smile that’s growing but can’t. She jogs a few steps to the ball and swings her foot out, sending a long, arcing ball right into Hope’s hands. While the goalkeeper’s preoccupied with ball’s trajectory, Kelley takes off. The sunlight on the green grass is blinding them both but Kelley imagines the familiar, fierce glint in Hope’s eyes. The ball lands in Hope’s outstretched fingers two seconds before she gets an armful of Kelley O’Hara._

_Kelley manages to get her legs wrapped around Hope’s waist and her arms tangled in Hope’s arms, and when Hope releases the soccer ball and uses her free hands to secure Kelley against her, they find they’re suddenly inches apart and staring into each other’s eyes and their laughter dies down to short breaths._

_Kelley blushes furiously and relaxes, ready to be released back to the ground, but Hope holds her for a second later, challenging, and when Kelley finally slides down it’s not embarrassment coloring her face. Hope looks ridiculously, unfairly attractive in her long sleeved practice kit and she eyes are- god, are they always this blue? Kelley doesn’t want to know what she’s giving away right now, looking up into Hope’s eyes. Neither one seems willing to step away first._

_“Nice catch.” Kelley says, falsely confident._

_“Nice kick.” Hope answers easily._

_Behind them, Tom blows his whistle and Kelley drags her feet two steps back, her heart still thumping with possibilities. She finally turns and jogs off, and when she glances back a few seconds later, Hope is still watching her leave._

-

The reception hall is crowded with old men in poorly fitted suits, women in decades old fashion and people Kelley has shared some of her most important and embarrassing memories with. Once the cake has been cut and the dances have been had, the party seems to implode on itself in a wash of cheap wine and mixed drinks made way too strong. Kelley finds herself dancing with one of her best guy friends, Michael, and it brings her back to formals and football games and that one math class they had together sophomore year. He picks her up once, reminiscent of _Dirty Dancing_ , and she strikes what are probably a few too many poses in the middle of the dance floor, forgetting herself for a moment.

When it’s all said and done, that last tequila shot was probably not in her best interest.

She’s borrowed Michael’s jacket and hangs it up on the hook on the back of the bathroom door, before turning to flip the toilet seat down. It’s such a relief to sit down, and rest her head in her hands, and shut her eyes tight.

Outside, the music thumps comfortingly while the party rolls on. Inside, Kelley squeezes her eyes tight and tries to resist the current pulling her under.

After a minute, she reaches forward to fish her phone out of a jacket pocket. She holds it in both hands for a moment, staring forward at nothing. She feels very far away from herself. Another minute and she’s shrugging the coat back on and unlocking the bathroom door and walking down the hall and through the front door.

Outside, it’s raining steadily and quietly. Inside, she’s feeling pretty much the same.

-

_The city is an explosion of gold and silver and bronze but mostly- let’s get real, mostly gold. It’s drenched in gold, drenched with the shine just above their hearts. Kelley’s drunk on celebratory champagne before they even leave the hotel, linking arms with Christie and letting Alex hang off her neck. There’s singing and shots and glorious alcohol but most of all- most of all her whole team. All these girls. They slip in and out of groups, the usual cliques disintegrating to make room for the overwhelming, encompassing affection they’re all experiencing. Kelley buys Carli a mixed drink and dances beside Tobin and hugs the hell out of Boxxy, but then there’s Hope._

_There’s winning a gold medal and then there’s Hope._

_Every time their eyes catch across the group, something blazes uncontrolled between the two of them. Kelley can see it sparking hot and bright there in Hope’s eyes. When they end up next to each other, the brush of Hope’s arm against hers is enough to make her feel like she’s going to float right off the Earth, her heart inflating into a hot air balloon. They dance around each other in the bar and Hope brings her a shot once, something hungry flickering through her gaze while she watches Kelley down it, but then she disappears back into the crowd with a smirk._

_They make it back to the Olympic Village by three and the party really starts. Carli and Jill disappear with some Swedes and everyone else somehow gets roped into a confusing German drinking game with a bunch of English distance runners and the next thing Kelley knows, there are fingers brushing up against her gold medal, still slung proudly from her neck. She blinks up and sees clear, ice cold blue burning through her. Hope’s hair is down and messy around her shoulders and she’s tugging on the medal around Kelley’s neck. Her mouth forms words that take a second to translate into language because Kelley’s brain can only process: pink, soft, mouth._

_“Let’s get out of here.” Hope is saying, and pulls just enough that Kelley feels the ribbon tighten against her skin. She follows without question. Down the green hills littered with gold streamers, past the fluorescent glare of the hotel lobby and the equally jubilant security, into the lacquered elevator where she leans up against Hope, pressing her cheek into Hope’s shoulder, blinking in the bright. They go to Hope’s hotel room and Kelley just kind of stands by the door for a minute, watching Hope rummage in the fridge before emerging triumphant with a bottle of champagne._

_When she looks up, she catches Kelley staring at her and the look on her face changes almost instantly. What was curious and happy is suddenly hungry and tender, and Kelley’s eyes widen without permission, tongue darting out to wet her lips. Hope’s hands tighten around the champagne bottle and the moment passes with a suggestive tilt of her head toward the balcony._

_Kelley follows._

-

Kelley’s clutching at her iPhone like it’s going to put her life back together again, but really it’s just distracting her from the way her heels are catching in the sidewalk outside the reception hall. The awning is protecting her from the rain- and fucking Seattle, it’s always raining –but she tugs Michael’s coat closer to her in an attempt to hide from the cold.

With all the practicalities out of the way, there’s nothing left to do but unlock her phone with shaky fingers, scroll down her contacts and tap once on that stupid, iconic name. She hovers over the phone icon for a moment, half a lifetime, but something inside her breaks unevenly and she hits it once with a trembling thumb. She’s lifting it to her ear before it even rings, biting down hard on her lip and trying to swallow her nervousness. On the street, a truck drives roars by, tires slapping wetly against the pavement.

-

 _The laughter and fireworks are just as loud here on the balcony as they are down in the quad. Kelley takes a minute to stand at the rail and stare down at the Olympians in various states of undress and inebriation, chasing each other through the grass, stopping only to let out raucous yells and exclamations in a hundred different languages. The trees are stung up in gold and there are spotlights all around, lighting everything up like its daytime. It’s pure decadence and joy and_ community _and Kelley just- she just- she feels fingertips against her cheek and the smear of wetness beside her nose._

_She’s crying._

_She’s crying and Hope is carefully wiping away the tears, two glasses of champagne balanced in her other hand. Her eyes meet Kelley’s and there’s so much there, so much_ love _that it almost aches. She’s looking at Kelley like she’s the only thing real. Kelley leans up a half inch and brushes their lips together, Hope’s hand slipping down to wind into her hair. When they break, Hope hands her the half glass of champagne and they toast, eyes still locked. Kelley downs it in one go and drops it into the cushioned chair before returning her hands to Hope’s hips, kissing along her jaw and then tasting the fizz of the champagne in her mouth. They stumble back through the glass doors, bodies hot and pressed together, the crowds forgotten behind them._

_The glass door slides closed and Hope unzips her dress and then everything is Hope’s golden skin and the shine of their medals sitting on the bedside table and the fireworks that go off along her skin and outside their hotel room when Hope  presses a kiss into her hipbone and slides lower._

_Kelley doesn’t know it then, but they’re saying goodbye in gold._

-

The phone rings twice, three times before the line clicks open.

“Hello.” Hope says, almost too brief to be normal, and the breath goes out of Kelley’s lungs. She literally can’t get a word out, her brain spinning pointlessly to come up with something that doesn’t begin with “ _come over_ ” or “ _why?_ ”. There’s silence for a second, and then a soft inhale from Hope and on the exhale: “Kelley...” It’s too quiet and soft to be anything but tender, even though Kelley knows it’s meant as a warning. She hears the rustling of Hope wrapping an arm around herself- can see it as plainly as if she was sitting across from Kelley in her old Washington sweats- and suddenly her tongue loosens.

“ _Hope_.” 


End file.
